Friday, 30 October 2009

Blaze of Publicity -- Splutter, Phut

So: how's it all going? I expect that's what you're wondering. It's what I'd be wondering if I was this blog's only reader, which I am.

A searching and fearless moral inventory of my efforts to publicise my book...

The idea of starting a blog seemed to be a good one. I'd post a story from the book every day, Twitter and Facebook and retweet and all that jazz, and word would spread virally, Sod's Law would become a groovy mini-cult, and I'd rocket up Amazon.

Well, I've been dutifully posting a story a day.

Result: Comments on blog: 0. Retweets by me: about 10. Retweets by anyone else: 1. Susan Hills irritated: 1

Then I watched back the Alan Titchmarsh show. Having been, obviously, petrified, I came away from filming rather pleased. I hadn't wet myself on air, or bitten anyone's ear off, or burst into tears. I had even made a joke that got a laugh. So my hopes were high. I'd nailed it!

Why, oh why, did I Sky Plus it? There was this *creature* -- looking like he'd been kept in a cellar for six months and fed Spam through a tube, then rolled in flour, whining about losing his job (a year ago!) and making inane remarks about the Second Law of Thermodynamics. Good GOD. That was me.

Still, perhaps that was okay after all. The book was on display. Then, my mum: "Shame about that, darling, wasn't it? Nobody's going to have the faintest idea the book's supposed to be funny, are they? They'll think it's just some long self-helpy whinge."

I logged onto Amazon as the AT show ended. Score! I'd gone 100 places DOWN in the Amazon rankings. It had reminded people to log on and cancel their pre-orders.

But all not lost. I was on an Irish radio programme last night. It went like this.

"Okay, he's just in a song. In about a minute he'll go to you."

*waits, remembers to breathe*

*song ends*

Presenter: "And now we have..."

*other song starts*

Presenter: "... the sound of Sharon Corr..."

*sad face*

Presenter: "... Oi've made a bollix of it. Pressed completely the wrong button. Ha ha! Sod's Law!"

Anyway, they had me on after Sharon Corr so all was not lost. I'm now 100 more places further down the Amazon listings. One more big push and I can get out of the top 1000, I reckon.

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Blogger Sod's Law said...

Oh get over yourself you fat wazzock.

30 October 2009 04:00  

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