Fail in the Wales

Well, that went well. Kind of. Ish. Actually, who am I kidding? It was a catastrophe.

I just got up and did Good Morning Wales. All that I needed to do, I thought, was let my natural charisma shine through.

I did. It did. Unfortunately.

Was it the awkward silence after I told the story about the poor fish-seller who lost her life savings when her house burned down? Or was it the gulfing, baffled pause -- five full seconds of dead air -- after I abbreviated my favourite parable: "There's an optimist and a pessimist, right? They're washed up together on a desert island. And they both starve to death."

"Ah, yes. Thank you. That was, er, Sam Leith. And now to the news headlines..."

I need to try to be a bit more heartwarming, I think.